Impilo yethu yonke besinomoya kaKhisimusi wehlisela phansi i-gullet yethu sonke. Noma ngabe uBurl Ives futhi Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer noma izitayela zeholide zikaNat King Cole, ngaso sonke isikhathi kumayelana noswidi nezihlahla kanye nokuchitha izimali zethu ukwenza lo Khisimusi omkhulu kunayo yonke!

Hhayi-ke sekuyisikhathi sokudweba umugqa eqhweni bakithi. UFestivus wayegxile kokuthile, futhi asikuvumeli ukuthi ife njengokuthi UPhoebe Cates 'pops kushimula kusuka AmaGremlins. Maduzane…?

Khohlwa umbhedo ophusile njengezinsuku eziyishumi nambili zikaKhisimusi, kwenze kube mnandi ngokusemthethweni. Futhi kancane kancane futhi uyinqaba. Okuthi, uma ufunda lokhu, ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi usuvele unokuthula.

'Izinsuku eziyishumi nambili zika Ama-'Burbs? Kungani isihogo kungenjalo? UDick Miller, oveze umuntu kadoti owayefuna ukubeka izandla zakhe kuRoselli Plumbing emhubheni wendawo we-bowling wazalwa ngoSuku lukaKhisimusi ngonyaka weNkosi yethu eyikhulu nesishiyagalolunye namashumi amabili nesishiyagalombili. Ngakho ngu hhayi ukugubha Ama-'Burbs, ngokuyisisekelo sitshela omunye wabalingisi abaphambili kunabo bonke owake wahamba kuleplanethi ukuthi siyamdelela.

Hhayi thina kuphela hhayi ukudelela uDick Miller, ngeke sikubekezelele noma yikuphi ukuhlazeka okwenziwe ngabantu abangenacala. Ngakho-ke hamba ku-sleigh. Kuyenzeka.

Ukuqala ngoMgqibelo, ukubala phansi kuzohlala kwabalishumi nambili, okukhombisa ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokushova. Ake ngikudabule…

Usuku lokuqala lwe-'The Burbs: Roll Ama-'Burbs ngesikhathi sokudla kwasekuseni futhi wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuthi udle uRick Duccomun. Uzophonsa noma uphume, kepha noma iyiphi indlela, unendaba ongayixoxa ngayo yonke isikhathi seholide. Kuwe ubusa izitika lapho - uphayinaphu uyazikhethela.

Usuku lwesi-2 lwe-The 'Burbs: Tshela unkosikazi (noma umngani wentokazi okhethekile) ukuthi ufuna ukugona ubuke i-movie. Yimuphi umuntu wesifazane ongadlulisa isimemo esinje? Ngemuva kwalokho uvula zonke izigcawu noCarrie Fisher, hhayi njengoCarol Peterson, kodwa uPrincess Leia kuleso swimsuit skimpy kusuka Ukubuya Jedi uze athole ukusikisela ashaye i-Death Star yakho noma aphume egumbini ethi uyenqaba uze ufane nendoda ayishade. Khumbula ukulinda amabhithi amabili, bese unikeza ukuthi “Asinaso leso sikhathi.”

Usuku lwe-3 lwe-The 'Burbs: Nikela ngokukhiphela ogogo nomkhulu bakho esidlweni esihle futhi kulandelwe ukuthenga ngomzuzu wokugcina ngoKhisimusi. Zulazula ukuze ubanikeze isikhathi sokuhlola izinto ezingaba isitokwe, balinde baze babe semgwaqeni nomsebenzi wasesitolo, bese ubabhekelela ngemuva kwabo ngaphandle kokubabamba, bamane bathethise “Ingabe uyafuna ukukukhipha lokho ephaketheni? Ingabe awufuni ukuntshontsha lokho kulesi sitolo? ” Ahambe. Ungakhohlwa ukumbumbuluza ngokuthi, “Yisitolo nje,”.

Usuku lwe-4 lwe-The 'Burbs: Noma ngubani ongenayo indawo ethambile yeCorey Feldman akakaze abe nokuhlangana okuncane kwe-'80s cinema. Ngisho, AbakwaGoonies, Stand By Me, kunjalo uRicky Butler kusuka Ama-'Burbs, kodwa futhi noTommy Jarvis odume kakhulu uvule ifayela le- NgoLwesihlanu 13th isaga. Cisha amalambu, ake Isahluko Sokugcina fly futhi unethemba lokuthi umalume wakho odakiwe ngeke aphuce ikhanda lakhe futhi afake ne-bludgeon ubabekazi wakho njengoba ekhafula ethi “Die!”

Usuku lwesi-5 lwamaThe 'Burbs: Hhayi ukukuqambela amanga, lena izobe ingenakulinganiswa, kepha njengokukholwa kwakho okufana nengane kuSanta Claus, kholwa ukuthi kuzoba nenzuzo ehlukile kusasa. Mane ulayishe isiqu semoto yakho ngesikhwama semfucumfucu esigcwele amasaka amaningi amazambane angamelana nawo ngaphandle kokuqhekeka. Lula kuze kube sekupheleni komgwaqo. Yidonsele emgqonyeni, uthathe ukubukeka okungahambisani nomakhelwane, bese uphonsa isihogo ngenduku. Buyela egalaji.

Usuku lwesi-6 lwamaThe 'Burbs: Ukukhuluma iqiniso, Usuku lwesi-5 lubeka itafula lephuzu maphakathi, kepha kufanele ukhiphe amabhola akho esikhwameni somkakho kulena. Lolu suku kungenzeka lungabi lwenu nonke, kepha uma nisebenza kanzima, ngicabanga ukuthi nizoluthokozela. Lindela iloli kadoti ukuthi likhombise, bese uqhuma uphuma ekhaya lakho uflip-flops futhi uhhafu oshefiwe ugwedla kuphela ingubo yokugeza yokufihla kanye nabashayisibhakela abavela eqoqweni likaBill Clinton. Buza ngamandla ukuthi basitholile yini isikhwama lapho esisindayo futhi esinomswakamo omncane. Angikwazi ukuthembisa ukuthi uzogwema ingxoxo nephoyisa noma owelapha onelayisense, kepha ekugcineni kosuku, uzobheka emuva ngokuziqhenya wazi ukuthi ukwenzele lokho.

Usuku lwe-7 lwe-The 'Burbs: Thatha izingane uye egqumeni lendawo elinezinsika, kepha yima emgodini kuRadio Shack endleleni. Qoqa ama-walkie-talkies kodwa ngaphambi kokuba amagundane ombhoxo aphume emotweni, buyela kuwo futhi ungatsheli ngokusobala ukuthi ama-tik ayazi ukuthi uma kukhona agxumela isibhamu ku- “Red rover, red rover, ake UMikey uqhubeke ”ngisho nakanye, uKhisimusi ukhanseliwe.

Usuku lwe-8 lwe-The 'Burbs: Zimemele engxoxweni emnandi, eyakhelene nabantu ongakaze ukhulume nabo. Qiniseka ukuthi uthatha ipuleti lama-brownies - noma ngabe uwaphonsa endleleni noma ungeza okuthile ngokuzenza imilingo disco brownies ucingo lwakho. Isivinini sikaNkulunkulu. Ngeke ukwazi ukuhamba, kuze kube yilapho ungashongo nje kuphela, kepha usebenze ngokomqondo engxoxweni ethi "Lezi zindlu ezindala kufanele zibe yisihogo ukushisa, huh?" Bese uqiniseka ukuthi ushiya umbhalo etafuleni lekhofi obhalwe ukuthi “Nginenja yakho.”

Usuku lwe-9 lwe-The 'Burbs: Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi lawo magama ambalwa anikezelwane nomakhelwane bakho ahlala kungukuphela kwawo okukhulunyiwe, nokuthi mhlawumbe bazongena endlini noma nini lapho bekubona uphumela ngaphandle, landela lesi sinyathelo esilandelayo esilula kodwa esisebenzayo. Hlanganisa abangane bakho abambalwa ukuze nibe ne-caroling. Manje, lawa akufanele kube yizinhlobo zezinhlobonhlobo ezinhle kakhulu. Cha, cabanga abangani abahlukumezayo kakhulu. Uhlobo olungenankinga yokutshela abantu bahlangane nje nokuthi wena scrapbook. Ngithembe, zilungile. Bamba izingcezu zephepha ezingenalutho ukuze usebenze njengomculo wamashidi, bese uya endlini ngendlu uphume…

[youtube id = "57Z2SxEuuQ0 ″ align =" center "mode =" normal "autoplay =" no "parameters =" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Z2SxEuuQ0 ″]

Usuku lwe-10 lwe-The 'Burbs: Ngaphambi kokuba i-fam ingene endlini yokwelulwa kwekhaya, mema abanye babangani bakho abaseduze (nabaphezulu kakhulu) ukuze beze ne-champagne nengxoxo. Okusemqoka kodwa ukuthi ube nama-hors d'oeuvres amabili nje kuphela - isitsha sama-pretzels kanye nethini lama-sardine. IDill, lwesinaphi noma uwoyela womnqumo - ucingo lwakho. Ngokwami, bengizohamba lwesinaphi, kepha njengoba ngishilo ekuqaleni, lezi yizinsuku zakho eziyishumi nambili ze- Ama-'Burbs. Landela inhliziyo yakho. Uma ususethe imizwa, hamba uzungeze igumbi ngobuso obuqondile bese uphephetha uthini ngaphansi kwamakhala ukuze unikeze iphunga, unikeze - “Sari-deen?”

Usuku lwe-11 lwe-The 'Burbs: Uma ukwenzile kuze kube manje, kungenzeka ukuthi usonge ukuthenga kwakho ngamaholide, umndeni uhlangene futhi akukho lutho ngaphandle kokunciphisa ama-fuzzies afudumele kaKhisimusi. Kepha kufanele ukwazi ukuthi uzame. Hlala phansi udle isidlo sasekuseni bese ucela ingane yakini ukuthi ikhethe ukukuphonsa iphephandaba. Ngabomo vumela ukuthi ikubhoboze ku-sternum ukuze ukwazi ukwethula iSanka emugqeni wakho wekhofi ngaphesheya kwetafula. Kudutshulwe, yebo, kepha cabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu uzokwazisa kakhulu kangakanani izihlobo nezihlobo ngemuva kokuphela kokopha.

Usuku lwe-12 lwe-The 'Burbs: Lokhu kungathatha isikhashana, kepha manje, kungenzeka ukuthi ufuna indlela yokudada emikhosini. Vele ugcine ama-orbs akho ehlutshiwe nge-am-dram elfing yokuqala eya endleleni eya kulo mdlalo wakusihlwa wasendaweni yaseshashalazini kaKhisimusi. Vula umnyango wakho wangaphambili, umemeze “Sawubona Pinocchio, ukuphi goin '?!” Uma ungasho ukuthi ubhekabheke emphefumulweni wakhe wabona ukwesaba, wahlanganyela ku-sprint efile, wabeka udoti sengathi ubenezinyanga eziyishumi nesishiyagalombili ehlathini.

Ngakho-ke sikuqinisekisile ukuthi ushiye izinsuku zakudala zikaKhisimusi zakudala, futhi ngokungagwegwesi 'Ama-Burbs ama-shenanigans?

Uma kunjalo, dala isigaba sakudala sikaJoe Dante kwiNetflix's Instant Watch bese ugubha usuku lokuzalwa lukaDick Miller lwama-86 ngesitayela.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, ngifuna ungigadele indawo yangakithi.