Masibhekane nakho, u-2016 ube nzima. Kwenye indawo eNorth Pole, uSanta Claus utshela abakwaMissus ukuthi uzobe esekhaya ekuseni ngalolu suku olwandulela uKhisimusi. Okwamanje, endaweni ethile ekujuleni kweHlathi Elimnyama laseJalimane, uKrampus ucwebezela amaketanga akhe futhi usika amaswishi angeziwe e-birch. Uzobadinga. Izingxenye ezimbi kunazo zonke zesintu zibonakala zikhulisa ikhanda lazo kulo nyaka.

Ake sibhekane nakho ukuthi anti-Santa uzoba matasa kulo nyaka. Ngakho-ke, ngesitayela esifanele se-iHorror (ungabona uhlu lwangonyaka odlule lapha), naba abaqokiwe bami ku-2016 Krampus List.

UHeather Bresch noBig Pharma

Ngonyaka odlule, kwakukhona uPharma Bro. Ungacabanga ukuthi ama-lobbies ezemithi kanye ne-CEO yezinkampani zemithi bazofunda. Kepha awu! Amanani emithi ayaqhubeka nokukhuphuka ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile ngaphandle kokuthi angakwazi. Fakaza uHeather Bresch. Igama lakhe lacishe lafana nentengo yezemithi egquma ekuqaleni konyaka lapho intengo ye-EpiPen yenkampani yakhe, umjovo wezidakamizwa ophephisa impilo kulabo abanezifo ezibucayi, inyuke isuka ngaphezu nje kwe- $ 100 umuntu ngamunye yaya ngaphezu kuka- $ 600! Umphakathi wonkana ubethukuthele uyaveva njengoba abazali bezama ukuthola ukuthi bazowukhokhela kanjani umuthi wezingane zabo. Ngalokhu kukodwa, kungenzeka ukuthi uthole indawo yakhe ohlwini. Kepha ngenkathi ezama ukuchaza ukuthi amanani entengo akhuphuka njengokwehla kwamandla emali emakethe wawaqinisa. Amalahle nokushintshwa kwakho kulo nyaka, uHeather nayo yonke iPharma Bros yakho.

Boris Johnson

Baningi enikunwaya ikhanda njengamanje. Ngivumele ngikwethule kuBoris Johnson, uNobhala Wezangaphandle wase-UK Wezangaphandle kanye Nezindaba zeCommonwealth ubeke ukuvuma kwakhe emkhankasweni weBrexit. Ngenkathi uMongameli u-Obama ekhipha isitatimende kubantu baseBrithani ebanxusa ukuba bahlale e-EU, uJohnson, kuTrump ngokumangalisayo njengokulingisa, uphakamise ukuthi mhlawumbe uMongameli u-Obama ubenengqondo engathandeki "yoMbuso waseBrithani" ngenxa yefa lakhe laseKenya. Indaba ende, emfushane ngomkhankaso kaJohnson kanye nokunxusa, uBrexit wadlula futhi abaseBrithani baqala ukubona imiphumela yangempela kwezomnotho nakwezenhlalo, kepha ngaleso sikhathi kwase kwephuze kakhulu.

UMitch McConnell

Umholi weRiphabhulikhi yeSenate Omkhulu futhi ophethe isikhundla esiphakeme, uSenator Mitch McConnell waseKentucky usephenduke ubuso bethimba lezigele elinobudlova elizinikele ekunqobeni zonke iziphakamiso zikaMongameli kunokulawula abantu. Abantu baseMelika ezinhlangothini zombili zezinto bashaqekile lapho uMcConnell ememezela ekuqaleni konyaka ukuthi ngeke avumele ukulalelwa kokuqokwa kwanoma yibaphi abaphakanyiswe yiNkantolo Ephakeme kuMengameli u-Obama ngoba u-Obama wayesonyakeni wakhe wokugcina ehhovisi futhi wayengeke akwazi ukuphakamisa abaqokiwe ngaleso sikhathi. Ungakhathali ukuthi sekwenziwe kaningi esikhathini esedlule. Empeleni, uMcConnell wagcizelela ukuthi esinye sezikhathi ezinhle kakhulu empilweni yakhe kwaba usuku abheka ngalo uMongameli emehlweni futhi wafunga ukuthi u-Obama akasoze aqoka iJaji elisha. Kwabaningi, uSenator usephenduke umfana wezingqapheli zezombangazwe zomsebenzi olambile. Umele konke okungalungile ngaphakathi kohlelo futhi uzuze indawo yakhe kulolu hlu izikhathi eziyinkulungwane ngaphezulu. Ngamanye amagama, kufanele abheke le Krampusnacht.

UMfundisi James David Manning

UMfundisi James David Manning uzenzele igama. Umfundisi webandla i-Atlah Worldwide Missionary Church eLenox Ave. eHarlem usebenzise ingxenye engcono yenkonzo yakhe eshumayela ngobubi bobungqingili. Izimpawu ezingaphandle kwesonto lakhe ziphakamisa ukuthi kukhandwe ngamatshe umphakathi wezitabane futhi zixwayise ngoMongameli u-Obama ukuthi akhulule "idimoni lobungqingili" emphakathini wabantu abamnyama ngesinye iseluleko kubantu besifazane abamnyama ukuba baqaphele ngoba "amadimoni amhlophe abungqingili" azobe eza amadoda amnyama. Sekukaningi, kusukela ekuqaleni konyaka, elwela ukugcina isonto lakhe livuliwe ngemali engaphezu kwesigidi esingu- $ 1 esikweletini asesibambile futhi sonke silinde nje ukuthi esinye isicathulo siwe. Yinye into ebonakala iqinisekile, uManning usohlwini lweKrampus ngezizathu eziningi.

UDebbie Wasserman-Schultz

UDebbie, uDebbie, uDebbie. Kunzima ukucabanga, kulolu suku nakulesi sikhathi, ukuthi othile angacabanga ukuthi ama-imeyili akhe awubufakazi bokugqekeza. Ngiqonde ukuthi, kucishe kube yisikhubekiso manje lapho iWikiLeaks ilahla iqoqo elisha lama-imeyili. Futhi, uDebbie wabhala uchungechunge lwama-imeyili ezwakalisa ukuthanda kwakhe uHillary Clinton kuprimary yeDemocratic Party. Lokho bekungeke kube kubi kangako ngaphandle kokuthi ubengusihlalo we-DNC ngaleso sikhathi futhi ama-imeyili aphakamisa ukuthi i-DNC izokhetha uClinton ngaphandle kwezinombolo zokuvota zikaBernie Sanders, ukuthandwa, kanye namathuba okuthi angalunqoba ukhetho. Kwamlahlekisela ngomsebenzi, kodwa futhi kwaba negalelo ekungathembekeni abaningi ababevele benakho ngoClinton okhethweni. Ukuthola amalahle kukaDebbie kulo nyaka nokuvakashelwa ngabakwa-Anti-Claus.

U-Brock Turner

Wonke umuntu uyazi leli gama, akunjalo? UBrock Turner, umbhukudi waseStanford owadlwengula owesifazane oqulekile. Ukwengeza ukuhlambalaza owesifazane ompofu owaphulwa ngendlela embi kakhulu, uTurner wathola izinyanga eziyisithupha kuphela ejele ngecala lakhe yiJaji u-Aaron Persky. UTurner empeleni ugcine ngokuhlala izinyanga ezintathu kuphela zalesi sigwebo. Akuvamile ukuthi sikubone ukwehliswa kobulungiswa kanjalo nakho konke ngoba uPerky wathi uTurner wayeyinsizwa eyayinempilo yakhe yonke ephambi kwakhe owenza iphutha. IPHUTHA? UTurner noPersky bobabili bangalindela ukuvakashelwa nguKrampus futhi ngilindele ukuthi azokhipha ubulungiswa bangempela.

I-Milo Yiannopoulos

UMilo Yiannopoulos. Kunzima ukucabanga ngomuntu we-crummy ngaphezulu kulolu hlu. U-Yiannopoulos, ongumholi oziveze njengomholi wenhlangano yezepolitiki engakwesokudla, ungumhleli wezobuchwepheshe weBreitbart News futhi unikeze umhlaba izizathu eziningi zokumdelela. Kulo nyaka, nokho, wafinyelela ezingeni elisha lonke lapho ehola isixuku se-Twitter silwa nomlingisi uLeslie Jones. U-Yiannopoulos waphakela ubudlwangudlwangu njengoba amaTweets aba nobandlululo nangaphezulu. UJones wema phansi isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka ngaphambi kokubalekela inethiwekhi yokuxhumana nabantu futhi ekugcineni isiphepho sancipha. Ngemuva kwalokho, uYiannopoulos uvinjelwe unomphela ku-Twitter. Akumnciphisanga nhlobo, noma kunjalo, futhi uyaqhubeka nokusabalalisa uhlobo lwakhe olubi lwe-conservatism enobandlululo. Lo dude udinga ukuvakashelwa okungaba kathathu noma kane okuvela eKrampus.

U-Ann Coulter

Ngiqonde ukuthi empeleni, kufanele ngichaze lokhu? Lona wesifazane angaba ngomunye wabantu abahlasela kakhulu emhlabeni. Angicabangi ukuthi kukhona umuntu omthatha ngokungathi sína. Ukhipha ubuthi obubi kunoma ngubani ongavumelani naye, okungukuthi wonke umuntu. Uhlala ezenzela "amaqiniso" akhe ukusekela izimpikiswano zakhe. Futhi muva nje njengosuku lokhetho, ubekhipha i-vitriol yakhe yobandlululo ku-Twitter lapho ethi uma singabeka umkhawulo echibini lokuvota kubantu kuphela abanogogo nomkhulu abazalelwe ngaphakathi e-US, uTrump uzowina ekubhujisweni komhlaba kuka-50. Akekho owayemkhombisile ukuthi kusho ukuthi uTrump wayengeke akwazi ukuvota, yena uqobo, ngabe lokhu bekuyiqiniso. Yebo, u-Ann uvakashelwa futhi ngeke kube kuhle.

Imiklomelo ye-Country Music Association

Kulo nyaka, ukusebenza okukhethekile kwanikezwa kuma-CMA. UBeyonce ujoyine iDixie Chicks lapho ezodlala khona ingoma eyayishisa phambili yowesifazane ongaphambili weDestiny's Child ethi “Daddy Lessons”. Ingoma yamukelwe kahle yizinkumbi zabantu iningi limi ngezinyawo lidansela inombolo yokumisa uhlelo. Ngenkathi iqembu kanye nesimenywa sabo esikhethekile beqeda ukushaya ihlombe, iningi lethu lalinesiqiniseko sokuthi lesi kwakuyisikhathi esizophila phakade. Okusho ukuthi, kuze kube yilapho izithombe nokuthunyelwe kwenyuka kwiwebhusayithi ye-CMA futhi abalandeli bezwe baqala ukuhlambalaza nokuhlambalaza ngokobuhlanga lo mculi ekulo mbukiso. Esikhundleni sokuyisebenzisa njengesikhashana ukukhuphelela ukulingana, noma kunjalo, ama-CMAs enze konke okusemandleni awo ukususa noma yisiphi isithombe noma ukubalula uBeyonce kuwebhusayithi yabo. Lo ngu-2016, akunjalo? Ngifaka ividiyo yakhe kanye neDixie Chicks abenza lapha ngoba wayekhona. Wayenolaka. Futhi ukusebenza bekumangalisa. Angazi ukuthi ngabe nina nizohlanganyela ndawonye eKrampusnacht, kepha uma nikwenzile, ningahle nikhanyiswe ngokungayenzi iKrampus inizingele phansi ngamunye.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Y7h9heQjw

Ngokuyinhloko wonke umuntu obambe iqhaza ku-2016 Election Cycle

Lapha ezifundazweni, sisanda kuphila ngokungahle kube umjikelezo wokhetho onamahloni kunkumbulo yakamuva. Sibone imicimbi futhi sizwa izitatimende esingakaze siziphuphe kumuntu okhethwe njengoMongameli. Angiqiniseki ukuthi ngingabiza wonke umuntu noma izizathu zokuthi kungani kufanele balindele uKrampus emnyango wabo ukuthi eze uKrampusnacht. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, sinoTrump owakhe umkhankaso wakhe ngezinkulumo zobandlululo, ezokungahloniphi abesifazane, nezokucwaswa kwabokufika, bese ezoma engenzi lutho enze sengathi abalandeli bakhe abalingisa leyo nkulumo abahlangene naye. Ubebonakala engakwazi ukubhekana nanoma yisiphi isenzo sakhe. Uqoka iphini likamongameli ozongenela ukhetho osebenzise wonke umsebenzi wakhe kuhulumeni enza okusemandleni akhe ukuphika amalungelo kuMphakathi we-LGBTQ +. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, sinoHillary Clinton okuthi yize ekufaneleke ngokuphelele angakwazi ukubalekela amahlazo, angokoqobo noma acatshangelwe, kusuka kuma-imeyili kuya kuzazi zetulo abazama ukusenza sikholwe ukuthi noma ngubani omphikisayo uzogcina efile.

Sibonile imithombo yezindaba ibika amanga aphelele njengeqiniso. Sike sabona abantu behlekwa usulu futhi babona lokho kuklolodelwa kuba yinto embi kakhulu njengoba imibhikisho iphenduke udlame.

Sibone ububi obukhulu kunabo bonke besintu njengoba sisondela eSuper ngoLwesibili, futhi umhlaba wahleka futhi imakethe yamasheya yehla njengoba ukuvota kuvalwa futhi uClinton waphoqeleka ukuba avume uTrump. Asifundanga lutho emaphutheni aseBrithani nawaseBrexit. Isihogo, asifundanga lutho eMbusweni WaseRoma.

Ebhekene nale miphumela, kwaqubuka umbhikisho ezweni lonke kanye nezimo zokucwasana ngokweqile nobandlululo okwadlula ophahleni. Ikusasa lethu aliqinisekile ukwedlula esake salibona.